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Tiny waterfalls

May 7, 2012 by winecountrymom

Vintage Wine Country Mom: DQ was only 9 in this picture at the waterfalls in Sugarloaf in 2008.

We were watching American Idol and Coldplay was on singing “Every teardrop is a waterfall”.  My 16-year old stepson, who is normally holed up in his room, has lately been making it a habit to hang out with us in the evening.  My 14-year old daughter was in the kitchen struggling with a science project for school where she had to create a rocket out of a soda bottle.

“Do you need any help?” my stepson asked her.

“No, I think I got it.  I’m just not sure what to do with the nose,” she said.  And as she explained what her idea was, he got up to help her anyways – this from two kids who could barely look at each other just a few months ago.

And as they worked together, a tiny, secret waterfall may have made a trickle in our living room.

Posted in Blending families | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

The dreaded Family Meeting

April 29, 2012 by winecountrymom

Mr. W, my fiancé, and I have been stumbling a little in our blended family adventure. I wouldn’t say it’s been awful – we’ve been more successful than not. But there are little things that have served as speed bumps while combining households into one. And when we went to counseling to learn how to tackle those hills, we had definite questions for our therapist, particularly these:

What our role was as a step-parent. How to give direction to a kid that isn’t yours. How to not take it personally when a step-kid was being totally unreasonable. How to get the kids to actually talk to each other instead of tattling to us. Learning how to let go of some of our own expectations in favor of one that involved all of us…

“Why don’t you try a family meeting?” our therapist asked. And I inwardly balked at the suggestion. I mean, it was a great idea in a family TV series kind of way, where everyone already gets along and then hugs by the time 30 minutes ends. But ours was not that kind of family. Instead, we were the kind of family who could grumble about what the other members were doing – as long as the offending member was out of earshot. I was better at listing my irritations to the group as a whole rather than just talking to the person directly. And the last time I felt it was safe to hug my step-son was two Christmases ago before he left on a ski trip with his mom. In fact, this last Easter my mom patted my step-son’s growing mane, and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

A family meeting was a terrifying idea.

However, I wanted to prove that I would try anything in the name of unity. So I told the counselor we would do it, and to put it on the agenda to talk about this week. Then I went home and placed FAMILY MEETING in big, bold letters on our calendar.

“You should just call it a Gripe Meeting,” my step-son muttered when he saw it. My kids were gleefully enthusiastic about listing every single one of their complaints, especially the ones that had to do with flatulence.

“Save it for the meeting,” I finally told them.

Meeting day finally arrived. After dinner, we all piled into the living room. Mr. W, Frizz, Taz, and DQ all stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to lead how this was going to go. In my lap was a notebook with a few guidelines jotted down, and ready for me to record the important points of the meeting.

“Ok, here’s the rules,” I told them. “First, whoever has the floor gets to speak. That means to wait your turn. Second, one of us will always take notes during the meeting. Today it will be me. Next, we’ll each get a turn to talk about the stuff that’s been bugging us. But before we do that, each of us has to say one nice thing about everyone in the room.”

You could have heard crickets chirping. After a brief pause, they all looked around the room and let out a few nervous giggles. Taz went first. He was silly about Mr. W and his sister, but when he got to Frizz, he told him how much he loved it when Frizz played baseball with him.

“You’ve been an inspiration to me in running,” Frizz told me sincerely, speaking about both of our efforts to hit the pavement that had been proving to be a source of connection between us. We all agreed that DQ was hilarious and a huge help, and that Taz was great at baseball and did extra tasks without complaint. I admired Frizz for how dedicated he was to the things that mattered most to him. And I thanked Mr. W for his efforts in orderliness and schedules that allowed our home to run as smoothly as it does.

When it came time to “gripe”, it started off slow. Luckily, I had jotted down a few complaints I had overheard throughout the week. Suddenly we were all remembering the issues we’d had, and were even laughing about them, all of us able to relate to the “suffering” at hand. A few changes could be made immediately. And a few things would take a bit of time through trial and error. 27 minutes later, the meeting adjourned and we were all smiling and feeling good.

It felt like overkill to schedule weekly meetings for our family. But we all agreed that this was a great idea to implement on an as-needed basis. I’m starting to think that maybe my therapist has some good ideas up his sleeve after all…

Posted in Blending families, family | Tagged | 2 Comments »

Paleo Coconut Pancakes

April 23, 2012 by winecountrymom

I’m constantly looking for ways to make eating Paleo more interesting.  Dairy and grains usually make up a huge part of a regular diet, and a diet that is void of them runs the risk of being bland.  So I was more than excited to find a recipe for pancakes at the Civilized Caveman (a blog dedicated to eating Paleo) that are completely grain-free (and gluten-free!).  Of course, I’ve been grain-free for a long enough time to have surpassed my addictions to carbs.  However, someone who is new to Paleo (or any other diet that restricts their carb/grain intake) will see this recipe as a Godsend.

Coconut Pancakes with Fresh Fruit Reduction
Makes 4 servings

Ingredients (Pancakes):
■6 Eggs
■8 Tbsp Coconut Flour
■6 Tbsp Coconut Milk
■3 Tsp Raw Organic Honey, melted
■1/2 Tsp Sea Salt
■Coconut Oil for pan

Ingredients (Syrup):
■12 Ounces of frozen fruit of your choice
■1/2 Cup Water
■1 Tbsp Raw organic honey (optional)

If you’re going to make syrup, I would start this first before making the pancakes so it can simmer while you cook.  Civilized Caveman preferred raspberries in this syrup, but I didn’t have any on hand.  But I did have a whole slew of strawberries which served as a delcious substitute.  I imagine any fruit would work well, though make sure to adjust ratios accordingly (i.e. blueberries might require more water since they tend to gell up).  Grind the fruit in a food processor.  I like a little bit of lumpy fruit in the sauce, so I allowed a few chunks of strawberries to remain in.  Put the fruit in a pot, then add the water.  Let it boil about 10 minutes, or till the fruit seems cooked through.  Set aside, or let it simmer on low.

For the pancakes, I found the coconut flour the most interesting.  I never knew such a thing existed!  But sure enough, there it was in my local Whole Foods, my go-to whenever I need an off-the-wall ingredient.  It’s located by the regular flours, near all the gluten-free alternatives.  While there, I also picked up some coconut butter, thinking it was just another name for coconut oil.  It’s not.  But it is very similar to something like peanut butter (well, more like tahini), and tastes so delicious I could eat it by the spoonful.

At any rate, add the first 5 pancake ingredients together until free of lumps.  Heat a griddle or pan and melt the coconut oil in it.  When good and hot, ladle the desired size pancake into the pan, letting it cook for 3-4 minutes.

Here’s where it got tricky for me.

I’d like to think I’m a pro at flipping pancakes.  Heck, it was the first food I ever cooked, and the food I taught my daughter to make when she was learning to cook.  I know when to flip them, turn them, let them sit, and remove from heat.  I can make them a golden brown color and ensure they’ll never land on top of each other.  But these ones?

Multiple Fail.

First off, they don’t bubble up like regular pancakes.  However, that wasn’t my main problem.  My biggest problem was I had the griddle too hot, and then flipped them too soon.  Then I kept them on too long.  Then I didn’t keep them on long enough.  Then liquid poured out each time I flipped it.  It wasn’t till the last pancake when I sort of got it.

However, they still produced a pretty good looking stack of pancakes.

Once ready to serve, strain the liquid through a mesh strainer, putting the liquid back in the pot and reserving the chunks of fruit left behind.  Add the honey and let it melt into the liquid.  Pour over the pancakes and then add the fruit.

Confession:  Being totally guilty of A.D.D. when it comes to following directions, I didn’t realize that I was supposed to strain it until I was typing this out.  I actually added all the ingredients together in the beginning, and then poured it on when I was done with the pancakes.  Also, I added twice the amount of honey since it still tasted somewhat sour with only 1 Tbsp.

The verdict?  These were ok.  Or they were great.  Or they weren’t good at all.  My tastebuds haven’t quite figured these out.  If you eat them expecting them to taste like pancakes, you’ll be disappointed.  My carb-loading fiance was not impressed with these at all.  Luckily I knew that going in and had already prepared him a batch of Krustaez.  My adventurous son thought they were ok, though he went for second when he was done.  He was most impressed with the sauce.  I found the pancakes to be a decent substitute with the consistency of bread, but not really a bread taste.  However, the taste was intriguing. And filling!  I ate three of them and was totally stuffed.

If you try them, let me know what you think.  If you want to know how to make them without a bunch of blog chatter, or just discover some pretty creative Paleo recipes, visit civilizedcavemancooking.com.

Posted in Dieting, Food | Tagged , | 4 Comments »

Baseball reject to homerun king

April 21, 2012 by winecountrymom

This past February, the Taz tried out for the Little League Majors. He caught every ball, throwing it back with precision. And when he was up to bat, he nailed the heck out of each ball that came his way. Basically, he nailed it. And since he was already 11 and one of the biggest kids trying out, my only question wasn’t about whether he’d make Majors or not, but which coach was fighting over his massive skill for their team.

So imagine my surprise when one of the Minors coaches called me to let me know he was on their team.

The news was all bad. I hadn’t been prepared for this, and had been building up the Majors to Taz since he’d shown nervousness over joining the older league. So when I had to break it to him that he was staying on the younger team, he was totally crushed. Throwing salt in the wound was the fact that all his friends had moved up and were now needling him for being in the “baby league”. Even worse, some of the kids who made it through totally blew their tryouts.

I’m not going to lie. I was pissed. I was starting to feel like this particular Little League had some sort of vendetta against our family.

Last year they put us on a team that had no coach. None. Like, if you want your kid to play baseball, someone better step up to the plate. It meant that none of the coaches deemed our kids worthy enough for their team, so we were stuck on a team of leftovers. Thankfully it turned out better than we could have anticipated since a great coach stepped up and guided our boys to 4th place in the League.

But this year? My son had done excellent at tryouts, better than most of the kids there, and he was left behind yet again.

First day on the field, Taz was a full head taller than everyone on his team. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him, surrounded by 9 year olds who had just moved up from the Rookies.

“This is stupid,” he muttered. And his attitude followed him out on the field, affecting his performance completely. It had been my hope that at the very least, Taz could outshine all his teammates and show his coaches the mistake that had been made. But I had to eat a bit of crow as I watched the boys lap him on the baseball diamond, my own son lumbering behind them at a much slower pace.

Ah, running. So not the Taz’ strong suit. The kid can throw. He can pitch. He can catch. And he can hit the stuffing out of a baseball. But he cannot run fast, even if his life depends on it. Even though my ego was still sore from him not getting picked, I was starting to understand that there may have been a reason, and perhaps this was it.

The coaches worked closely with the kids, and soon Taz’ speed was picking up. He would never be as fast as the littler kids on his team, but he was moving with a bit more agility than the first practice. And something else was different this year too. In previous years, the kids were just plain mean. My sensitive boy couldn’t just let insults slide off, but would carry the weight of them on his shoulders. But being the older kid this year, the younger players looked up to him. He became the leader of the pack. And it was a major ego booster.

This last weekend he attended practice. And as they worked on batting, he nailed it and sent it flying over the fence. That one play had the whole team rooting for him, and Taz promised he would do it again at the game.

There were limited coaches at the game this last Tuesday, so the coach made Taz his base coach.

“If it looks good, send them,” the coach said. And I marveled at how the Taz straightened up with a bit of responsibility placed on his shoulders. He paid attention to the game, offering support and advice to the players at bat. In the dugout, he shared a game rule a new player didn’t know about yet. And when it was his turn at bat, he lined himself up at the plate and looked the pitcher dead in the eye. The first pitch was too low. The second, a strike.

“You’ve seen what it looks like,” his coach called out. “Swing when the monster in your belly tells you to.”

Taz took a few practice swings, and then toed the plate. The pitch was thrown and he swung easily at the ball. There was a very distinct crack of the bat, and ball went sailing. Taz didn’t even run right away, watching it as it sailed up into the air and then over the fence. And the whole crowd cheered as he made his way around the bases, a huge grin on his face. His team gave him high fives, patting him on the back. And Taz glowed in the glory.

And I’m guessing that it was no coincidence that we received a call this morning that the Taz was being drafted up to the Majors.

There’s mixed feelings with this one. We love our Minor team’s coaches and team. It’s been such a great experience for Taz to be someone looked up to rather than someone made fun of. And the Majors is a lot faster and more experienced than the Minor League. I told the person on the phone that we had to think about it and I’d let her know.

“I hate to put it this way,” she told me, “but no matter what, he’s going to have to trade teams. If Taz doesn’t go to the Majors, he’ll have to take the place of the kid who does move.”

So we’re now a part of the Majors.

Taz got one last stint with his Minor League team today at their annual bat-a-thon. He ended up hitting one against the fence, a couple pop flies, and two over the fence homeruns.

Not bad for a Minor League reject. Right?

Posted in sports, video | Tagged , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Carb lusting

April 19, 2012 by winecountrymom

I had a sandwich today. It was horribly amazing, possibly the best thing I’d eaten in a long time.  Because I’ve been Paleo for so long, it occurred to me that I would regret this decision as soon as my protruding wheat belly caught up with me.  But as the juice from the tomato dripped down my arm and the chewy sourdough of the bread flirted with my taste buds, I was perfectly content in the moment.

I regretted nothing.

Totally absorbed in the decadence of my totally carbed up sandwich, I didn’t need electronic gadgets to amuse me or even someone to keep me company.  My book lay closed next to my juicy elbow, and I found solace  in staring straight ahead at the waterfalling fountain in front of me.  As I sat, the sun gently caressed my back, my crowded mind slowly winding down as my mouth filled with Heaven.

Eating like a normal human being is divine. And my pants already feel tighter. But it’s not like all this edible sacrifice has even touched those ten pounds I keep wishing away….  And I swear I ate less today NOT Paleo since my carb craving was finally appeased.  I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth it to limit my diet so much since all I end up doing as a result is obsess about the foods I can’t eat.  I may have some thinking to do.

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Night of the living teenager

April 19, 2012 by winecountrymom

“My kid has totally turned against us,” a friend of mine lamented as she shared all the ways her teenager was lashing out in rebellion. “She insists when she turns 18, she’s leaving. I feel devastated!”

I was there as recently as a few weeks ago. My 14-year-old daughter looked at me like I was an ogre, and anything I said or did was a blatant attack against her. She even swore she was moving in with her father at the end of the school year. I felt like I was grasping at threads to keep her here. I was failing as a mother, and I was sure to be the only person in the world going through this teenage drama pointed directly at me. It wasn’t until I put a call out to the universe and sought the help of some friends that I realized I’M NOT ALONE.

You, parents of teenagers – YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

I’ve heard that the teenage years are akin to mental illness. Teens just don’t know what they’re doing, saying, or how to handle all the mess going on inside. One friend of mine put it more kindly by referring to teenagers as delicate creatures, describing how teens are overwhelmed with feelings of rage, addiction, lust, fear, and more – sometimes all at the same time. Even when they’re hateful or spiteful, they’re fragile. And with all that, plus the daily struggle of making it out alive amidst their peers, the closest (and safest) person they have to lash out at is YOU, the parent.

The first best advice I ever received while going through the heartache of having a teenager was to seek out a good counselor – with and without my daughter. I bristled at this a bit, believing it was an expensive route to go. However, I found that most jobs cover up to 3 therapy sessions, and many insurance companies take over after that with just a co-pay from you. A good counselor will not only give your teenager a place to vent and help in managing all the stuff going on inside, but he or she will give you (the parent) some insight into the workings of the teenage brain and how to guide your teen without sliding into a power struggle.

Will your teen fight you on counseling? Probably. At least, mine did. When I brought counseling up to my daughter, her initial reaction was to tell me she wasn’t going. And when I insisted, she swore she’d act like she was off in the head. I finally reasoned with her that all I was asking for were three sessions. After that, she was free to never come again.

She went, and counseling ended up being the saving grace in ending the war between us.

Second best piece of advice I received was to listen. That means no talking, no rebuttals, and no trying to fix anything unless your teen specifically asks for it. If he’s lashing out at you, take a step back emotionally and let him vent. Sometimes the unreasonable things your teen is saying will lead into the real feelings he’s dealing with underneath.

Third best piece of advice I’ve heard is to share your feelings. Sometimes your teen just says things to make herself feel better. Sometimes it makes her feel better to make you as angry as she is. Sometimes she just want to be rude to you so that you have to be rude to her – and then she has something to use against you because GAW, YOU’RE SUCH A HORRIBLE PARENT! If your teen is blasting at you that she’s going to move out immediately after high school, she may just be trying to hurt you. Or she may really mean it. Either way, she’s looking for a rise out of you. If you bite back, she succeeded. But a better way to handle it is to tell her that when she says things like that it makes you sad because you actually love having her there, but understand how much she must really want her independence.

I’ve discovered that empathy goes a really long way.

Final advice – don’t go it alone. Surround yourself with other parents of teenagers and allow yourself time to vent or seek out advice. Sharing stories with others who are going through or who have been there will solidify the fact that you’re not alone. It will also give you the reality that this is such a fleeting period of your child’s life – and it too shall pass. Soon enough the stranger that has invaded your teen’s body will up and leave, and left behind will be the son or daughter you knew was in there somewhere.

As I told my friend, there should be medals of honor for parents of teenagers. Hang in there, we’re all rooting for you.

Posted in teens | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Himalayan Salt Sole

April 14, 2012 by winecountrymom

So remember when I went in for a massage a few weeks back, and came out with a recipe for Himalayan Salt Sole?  Well, I’m on the third or fourth week of drinking a bit every day, and let me tell you, this is a magical elixir.

First off, let me give you a recap of what Himalayan Salt Sole (or salt brine, as it’s also called) is.

Note: I’m not an expert on this, but I play one in my blog.  I have received most of my information from several different websites, particularly this one, and from personal experience.

To make the sole (pronounced so-lay), you take a jar of water and add 3-4 Himalayan Salt Crystals to the bottom and let it sit overnight.  If there are still crystals the next day, it’s ready.  It means that the water has become so saturated with salt, the crystals are unable to dissolve any further – there just isn’t enough room in the water.  However, if the crystals are all dissolved, add another crystal or two and wait till the next day.

In a Cliff Notes version of what Sole is, it’s basically liquid sunlight, or as we know it, a pure form of electrolytes.  Consuming the sole creates energetic vibrations throughout the body that last a full 24 hours.  A more detailed (and slightly new-agey) description can be found here.

More than drinking sole, you can breathe it in through steam, bathe in it, rinse your eyes, and many other uses for it.  But I had very specific reasons for needing to drink the sole.  I suffer from what doctors like to blanket as IBS.  Basically, the #2 function just doesn’t work like it should.  But when it does, hooboy.  I can go 3-4 days without a movement, and then I’ll be praying to God from the porcelain throne until the pain has subsided and my insides are turned inside-out.

I’d say more, but I wouldn’t want to give you TMI.

Basically, I just needed to be regular in all senses of the word.  And I preferred to do it naturally.

Next, I was constantly dehydrated.  I tried to drink enough water, and I know I failed.  But still, water seemed to just go through me without actually curing my thirst.

Salt Sole

I began taking one teaspoon of sole in a glass of water every single morning before I even had my first sip of coffee.  And then I waited 30 minutes till eating anything.  The first day, it took only 45 minutes before my stomach started gurgling and I was running to the bathroom.  Worse, I was at work.  Worse still, this went on for multiple episodes for a full hour or so as I ran back and forth.  And it felt horrible!

However, I was determined to give this a fair shot.  So the next day, I timidly did it again.  My stomach rumbled at me a little, but everything managed to remain calm.  But on the third day, pain and misery again.

But that was the last of it.

Ever since then, things have slowly been returning to normal.  The past week I have been regular almost every day of the week.  And I have not suffered a painful episode since.

And there’s more.

Call me crazy, but I actually feel this burst of energy radiating from the middle of my chest about an hour or two after I drink the sole.  It gives me this feeling of being light and happy, and just having the stamina to move around when I had lacked energy before.  It’s not as prominent now that I’ve been drinking the sole daily for weeks now, and I suspect that’s because I’m used to it.  But I do notice I’m run down in the morning when the sole has worn off, and liven up not long after I drink the sole.

Second, I am definitely more hydrated.  I am now encouraging this hydration by making sure I drink at least 4 glasses of water along with the sole a day.  Slowly I’ll build up to 8.

Third, I have noticed I have less desire to cheat with food.  Sure, the impulse is still there.  But it’s easier to fight through it.  I think it’s because I’m more hydrated.  I’ve heard that many times when you want to snack compulsively, your body is really crying out for water.  All I know is that it’s been a week since Easter, I can legally eat chocolate, and I don’t feel that major calling to indulge.  This goes for all unclean foods, and I’m not as hungry as I used to be.

At any rate, I’m totally a believer in this solution.  I’ve even been using the sole in my nasal rinses, and it works just as well as the packets of salt I usually use.

Final tips: 

- I noticed that the sole was hard to drink on an empty stomach when I added it to cold water.  I began adding it to warm water, and can drink it easily.

- Metal should NEVER touch the sole solution.  That means metal spoons, and metal lids.  Use a plastic cap or cork on the jar, or go like me and put saran wrap in between the cap and the jar.  The reason is that for some reason, the sole reacts negatively to metal and will not be as effective.

- Table salt, Sea Salt, or other kinds of salt will not create the same benefits of Himalayan Salt Crystals.

- It’s recommended you give up coffee since it works against the health benefits for your intestines.  At the very least, try to drink coffee closer to the afternoon to give the sole a chance to work its magic.

- Read up more on Salt Sole at himalayancrystalsalt.com or through books like Water & Salt, and always consult your doctor.

Posted in Food | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

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