Tag Archives: change

March Challenge Update

I have a confession to make. I am a big fat cheater. I’ve been holding back for some time now, flirting with the idea and then pulling away at last minute. But on Monday I couldn’t take it anymore. And I dabbled in the dark side. And I admit it, it was glorious. Once I crossed over there was no turning back, and I let go of all my inhibitions as I fell head first and got satisfaction out of all I was missing. The worst part is that Mr. W doesn’t even know. I mean, how can I possibly tell him that I had an affair with Facebook?

But it was just one day that I caved. I mean, how could I help it? I kept getting flirtatious emails that someone wanted to be my friend or had sent me a message or had commented on my wall. And I missed the faces of all my Facebook friends. What were they doing right now? Were they drinking coffee? Were they working today? Were they commenting on the significance of a Froot Loop? Did they post pictures of what they did every single second of the weekend (Kristin, I’m looking at you)? I needed to know!

(Why am I giving up Facebook? See the forums for details on our March Challenge.)

So yes, I caved for one day only. And I even got called out by one of my friends who noticed that I had accepted a few Friend Requests. But I am back on the wagon….for now. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. And I really do mean it when I say that I miss all my friends. But it has also made me realize that I relied on Facebook way too much for my socializing needs. Sure, it’s a convenient way to socialize when one is so strapped for time. But it had become a full on substitute. So I have been using this time to talk to more friends on the phone or schedule lunches. And I discovered that I actually missed these friends and was glad that I had given up Facebook for the month, as hard as it’s been. I don’t think I would have discovered this truth any other way.

Because I kind of figured that I would probably cheat with Facebook, I have also been using this month as a get fit quick month. I have been shredding with Jillian Michaels in her 30 Day Shred. Mostly it’s for the selfish reason that bathing suit season is coming up and I want to look my best. I figured that I would hate it, but have to stick with it if I ever wanted to show myself in public. So on March 1st I popped in the DVD. By the middle of the workout I was cussing out Jillian while she had me keep moving. Every time that I thought of sitting down, she called me on it. And I had no choice but to keep moving. But the nice thing is that the workout is only 20 minutes long, even if it felt more like 45. I’m happy to say that I survived. The next day I was a little sore, but I invited Jillian back into my living room and together we did butt kicks, ab curls, and static lunges till I was sweating puddles on my living room carpet. The third day I couldn’t move. So I took the day off. But the next day when I popped the DVD back in, I realized that it had gotten easier. I could actually do this! And more than grueling, it was fun! By this time my kids were even joining in with me, and together we all did clumsy push ups and jumped up and down like fluttering birds (that’s what the “double jump rope” exercise looks like). By the weekend, I was noticing that my stomach had gained a little definition when I wasn’t looking, and my arms were looking firmer.

Of course, there is the problem with my neck. I threw my neck out a month ago and have been seeing my chiropractor, Dr. Kyle Yoder,  to help me fix it. He has done an amazing job in getting my neck to heal. But this past week I am afraid to say that I may have overdone it with the exercise when I switched from 3 pound weights to 5 pound weights. Now the pain is radiating from my neck and down my arm, which probably isn’t a good sign. So I had to tell Jillian to meet me in a few days when I could lift my arm again. Nevertheless, I feel awesome and have a bit more energy than usual. I wholly recommend this exercise DVD to anyone wanting a quick fix in a short amount of time.

How about you? Have you given anything up for the March Challenge? If you haven’t, it’s not too late to jump on the bandwagon.

What if you win something in return?

Just think, you could change your whole life in a matter of a month. You can change your diet, you can give something up that you have toyed with giving up for awhile. You can help out the community every weekend in March. You can give up TV now that the Olympics are over. And the cool thing is, you only have to give it up till March 31st.

The first 10 people that respond to this blog entry will automatically win  a pair of tickets to the Sonoma County Home & Garden Show for March19th, 20th, or 21st at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds.  Just be sure to include your real email address when responding so that I know who to email.  (If 10 people have already commented, don’t be discouraged from also commenting.   You never know, someone may not want the tickets, but they just have something to say.)

So what will you be giving up? And if you already have given up something, how’s it going? Are you doing better than me?

There are some cool events being posted over at Santa Rosa Mom. Santa Rosa Mothers Club is holding a seminar on Positive Discipline tomorrow, March 10th.  The Rohnert Park-Cotati Mother Club will have guest speaker Heather Hammer talk on how parents can help teach their preschoolers language and reading skills on March 16th.  And the Petaluma Sunrise Rotary will be hosting their 5th Annual Easter Egg Hunt on March 27th. To learn more about these and other family friendly events, be sure to visit SantaRosaMom.com!

March Challenge: Spring Forward with Change

The month of March is not just the third month of the year. It’s the month when spring comes, when everything wakes up from its wintery slumber and the world feels brand new once again. The sun starts shining on grass that magically turns green, the air is fresh and clean, everything is reborn.

March is also a great time for changes in your life, or perhaps to give something up for awhile. One mom I know decided that this would be the perfect month to attempt the 30 Day Shred. Another is giving up all meat products and by products and becoming vegan for the month. Another mom is giving up all things Monsanto (read more about what this is, and why she will be giving it up by clicking HERE).  Me? Well I can’t say…specifically. But it was the hardest thing I could think of to give up for 31 days. And I am still waiting on Mr. W’s approval, since it affects him too…*

So how about you? Will you join me and other moms in this challenge?   In this month of spring, what will you be changing or ridding yourself of?  Maybe this is the month that you give up that glass of wine in the evenings.  Or maybe coffee is the vice that you omit for 31 days.  Maybe you’ll decide to spend 31 days doing something outdoors, or reorganzing things indoors.  Maybe it’s a good month to practice not raising your voice – at all, or letting bad words slip in.  Maybe you’ll choose to give up shopping, or maybe TV.  There are so many vices that we can give up for one month.  Remember, it’s only 31 days. And as soon as April comes, you can take it back up again. Leave a comment here, or join us over in our Santa Rosa Mom forum discussion, telling us about your Springing Forward step. And don’t forget to share how things are going during the month!

*Oh, did you think I meant…ahem…? Get your mind out of the gutter! Mr. W and I are giving up Facebook! I’ll still be posting quick links over on our Facebook Fan page.   But it will be post a link, then leave.  No checking my personal Facebook email, no seeing what kind of comments my page has elicited, no Facestalking my friends…  With as much as I’m online, this is a biggie…  Just in case, I’ve bought the 30 Day Shred and will attempt to kill myself with exercise should the Facebook thing proves to be too torturous. 

To everything, there is a season

Life is full of seasons. In the spring of our lives, we are protected and cared for by our parents. We grow and learn, we change and mature. We are in love with our parents, we hate our parents. We make friends with our neighbors just because they live near us. Our whole world is in the very neighborhood we live in. Hours feel like days, days feel like years, and years feel like an eternity. We are young, we are carefree, we will live on forever. In our season of summer, we have realized that we have minds of our own. And with that knowledge, we are brilliant! We become experts on certain subjects, knowing more than anyone else could possibly know about it. We are the beautiful people, the ones who are on top and going to make this world so much better than our parents – their generation truly screwed things up for us. We go off to college with our heads held high, our futures on the tips of our tongues. We leave and start families, swearing that we will not make the same mistakes as our parents when it comes to raising our children. “God forbid I sound like my mother!” Autumn comes, and our children have grown older. We come to the realization that perhaps we didn’t know it all, that maybe our parents actually did know a thing or two. We chuckle at our own children saying the same things we used to tell our parents – back when we knew it all. But it’s ok. The burden of knowing it all has been lifted from our shoulders, and we are content to know more than we did in our youth…and still have so much more to learn. We are suddenly less self conscious – how many people are really watching our every move, waiting for us to fall? No one has that time. We can finally live freely, and amazingly we possess more freedom than we did in our youth. In this season, our children will grow to leave our home and create families of their own, possibly entering their own autumn before we have moved on to winter. And winter will come for us too. One day we will be watching the leaves fall to the ground as we hug the sweaters to our aging bodies, and the next, the snow will have fallen on a whole new season of our lives. I have not reached it yet, but with the way time is passing so fast I know it will be here before I know it.

In these seasons, changes happen. We experience the same life that those around us are experiencing, but in many different ways and with different outcomes in our hearts. We find love, and we lose it. We experience new birth, and we grieve over death. We continue with the faith of our parents, or we find a new way to reach God, or we decide that there is no such thing as a god at all. We succeed in life, or we fail miserably. We make promises to ourselves that create guidelines for our lives. And then we break those promises as real life gets in the way. “I will never be that person.” “I will never allow someone like that in my life.” “That is against all my morals.” Those are dangerous statements. It is when you have printed those words in permanent marker on the pages of your life that you discover that….you can be that person. You can love someone who does you wrong, over and over. The future depends on the decisions of today, and sometimes those decisions are breaking the promises you made yesterday.

And along with changes, different people enter your life. Some will stay forever, changing along with you in your friendship and linked to your heart through common experiences. And some will leave. And it hurts. These are the people that may have helped you move into your very first apartment, or witnessed the birth of your child. They were at your wedding, or maybe there for your divorce. They may have held your hand while you cried, or laughed with you until your bellies hurt. They are the ones you could rely on for anything, the ones you could call in the middle of the night just because you needed to hear another human being breathing. They were your fortress against loneliness and solitude. At one time, they were your forever friends. But in this life, forever doesn’t really mean forever. And when the links to some friendships start to rust and dissolve, we find that we are grasping wildly, frantically, and with all our might. We want to hold onto it. We want to lock the friendship up in a box as it is slipping away, forcing it to stay with us forever. They are our connection to the past. They helped us make it to our future. And we cannot imagine our tomorrows without these friendships of our yesterdays.

Losing them is like breaking up with a lover. And sometimes, worse.

But everyone’s life has a season. And in those seasons, our paths will converge with those who are headed in the same direction. And while we stroll, we will share the same experiences that will allow us to remain walking, hand in hand. But we’re not always headed in the same direction. A new relationship, new friendships, a job change, a birth or a death in the family, money loss or money gain, a change of scenery, or any other change that occurs in this day to day process we call life – sometimes they lead us down different paths. And as much as we grasp the links from our heart to theirs, sometimes the chain needs to break and the paths need to divide.

Mr. Wonderful and I stood in the middle of the street as I pored my heart out to him over a friendship that had been slipping away for a while now. It was not the first time I had lamented over this with him. But just like every time before, he heard me out with open ears. And when he opened his mouth, he told me of the seasons. The friendship I was losing tears and sleep over, it had been a wonderful friendship. It had saved me in a time I needed saving, and in many ways, I couldn’t see how I could have survived certain aspects of my life without it. There had been lots of laughter, and just as many tears. But, Mr. Wonderful pointed out, perhaps the season of that friendship was ending. And just because it was didn’t mean that I loved them any less, and it didn’t mean that they didn’t love me. But our paths were no longer merging.

“I don’t know what to do,” I told him as we made our way home. “I know it’s ending. And it hurts more to keep hanging on when I know I need to just let go. But they were there for me in such a big way. I don’t think I could ever thank them enough for how much they did for me, and there is no way I could ever repay them.” I was silent for a moment, and so was he.

“Sometimes,” he said after a little while, “the best thing you can do is just say thank you.”

“This hurts,” I said.

“I know.”

I share this now, the day after Valentine’s Day, because love is sometimes not enough. Sometimes, even when we love with all of our heart and soul, we have to say goodbye. With any kind of relationship, there comes a time when a fork comes in the road, and we must stop and recalculate our directions. Are we going the same way? Does it still feel natural to be traveling together? Or is the road only getting more beat up as we walk hand in hand? Would we be able to travel lighter if we go down separate paths? Are you holding me up?

Am I holding YOU up?

Love is sharing the good times and the bad. Love is an embrace when we can no longer stand on our own. Love is a connection. And love, sometimes, is realizing that the end of the season has come and we must say goodbye, wishing the other well on their journey.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under Heaven.  A time to weep, and a time to laugh.  A time to mourn, and a time to dance.  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together.  A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing…”