Tag Archives: mother

Motherhood Busyness

Ever forget how to just...relax?

At the end of my work day yesterday, I picked my kids up from their grandmother’s house where they stay after school. I dropped my son off at baseball practice, and my daughter off at the bookstore to kill some time while he practiced. While she read, I took a half hour out for a run, something I’ve recently taken up in my efforts to be more fit. I then picked my daughter back up, then my son, then off to home where I folded laundry in between coordinating my son setting the table while Mr. W made dinner. Afterwards, dishes were washed, more laundry was gathered, and finally a sit on the couch where I checked my email and Facebook while Dancing with the Stars was on (seriously, does anyone watch this anymore? It seems like no one can dance, and it was only worsened by the cheesy America theme). Then it was off to put the kids to bed where I discovered that my son’s room had exploded on itself, and his bed was rat’s nest. I taught him for the 300th time how to properly make a bed so that it was more comfy to sleep in and then kissed the kids goodnight. And without starting any new projects or sitting for a time or doing anything that didn’t require thinking, I went to bed so that I could do it all again the next day.

Kate Winslet was recently quoted in the UK’s Hello Magazine as saying “Any mother knows the last person you think about is yourself. I’ve been a mother for 10 years and I’m still trying to figure out how to give time to myself without feeling guilty about it. Sometimes I’ll sit down and I’ll go, ‘Oh it’s just nice to sit down,’ because truly, I’ve forgotten how to do that.”

I wouldn’t say that I don’t know how to sit, or even that I’m overburdened with all this busyness. I’m known for packing my day full of activities to take me from one moment to the next. And there are definitely times when I feel stressed out from too many obligations being scheduled too tightly together. But generally, it’s just the way I roll. Going from work, to baseball, to exercising, to shopping, to dinner, to laundry, to dishes, to clean up, to school projects, to….. And much of this busyness is on purpose.  It’s like I’m afraid to have a day when nothing is scheduled, when I might actually let the dishes sit for a time, or the laundry to remain unclean, or to not have to leave the house or do kids’ projects or check my phone or all the other things put in place to keep me from relaxing for a bit. And when I do, my mind races to all the things that still need to be done, or that I should be doing. Or worse, I’m just plain bored. And I’ve realized that it’s true – I’ve forgotten the fine art of sitting down. And not sitting down and then opening my laptop, or checking my phone, or flipping channels on the TV. But sitting down in a quiet room with no obligation but to do NOTHING. And it makes me wonder, how scary will life be when the kids are gone and the house stays clean, and there’s more than enough time to just sit and be still?

What does your day look like? Are your days filled with activities and obligations? Have you forgotten how to just sit and be still? Do you feel guilty when you do take time out for yourself?

Happy Mother's Day!

Let’s hear it for moms. They are the ones who wipe runny noses without getting grossed out, pick a pacifier off the ground and sanitize it with their own mouths, and stroke the back of their little one for as long as it is needed while their child throws their guts up in the toilet. They are the ones who are driving from point A to point B to point C to point D, and then back to point B because the munchkin left his favorite toy dog there. They are the ones who will answer the question “Why?” a hundred times a day only to come back to the very first answer that was given in the first place. They are the ones signing permission slips for field trips, helping their child with homework they haven’t known how to do in 20 years, and collecting materials for the report on leaves that is due, oh, tomorrow. They are also the ones that drive that same report to school when their child inevitably forgets it on the kitchen table. They make the doctor’s and dentist’s appointments, they sit through parent/teacher conferences, they sign the kids up for baseball, they volunteer to help in the classroom, and they watch the neighborhood kids when their house becomes the local hangout spot. They nurse fevers, skinned knees, broken arms, paper cuts, bumped heads, and broken hearts. They worry if their newborn is still breathing at night. They worry if their college student is eating enough. They do all the laundry only to find that the basket is full again. They cook dinner only to find their kids have decided to become picky eaters. They feel guilt over any mistake they have made with their child – long after their child has forgotten all about it. They feel guilt over not being the perfect mother in the eyes of all other mothers. They feel guilt over letting their child stay up too late, making them go to bed too early, feeding them too much food, not feeding them enough food, making them do too many chores, not giving them enough chores to do… They love their child unconditionally even when their little one cries from colic for 6 hours straight, or their teenager slams the door after professing their hate.

Do moms have bad days? Sure. Do moms ever long for a break? Of course. But is there any job more rewarding and joyful than being a mother? Absolutely not. So let’s hear it for moms who work so hard to raise their children, maintain their home, and sacrifice of themselves every day for the sake of their family.

I wish each and every one of you a wonderful Mother’s Day being pampered by those you care for the most!

Happy Mother’s Day!

A mom who inspires

There’s a certain truth in the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”. On one hand, this includes every person that touches your child’s life – their parents, their teachers, their aunts, uncles… But it also pertains to the wisdom of the generations that have come before them, passing down their values and tendencies that will be carried on for years to come and to future generations.

As a single mother, the mom that inspires me the most is my grandmother, the matriarch of our family. On her own, she raised three kids in an era when single parent households were uncommon. She attended countless baseball games and band recitals, opened up her kitchen for her sons’ insistence on cooking the animals they had hunted (in this case, deer or squirrel), held several jobs to maintain the household, and became creative in her dinners to stretch her dollar (tongue, anyone?). She sacrificed and gave it her all in raising two boys and one girl, as a single mom. In those days, there was no support system for single mothers. Most families were not divorced. And yet, she did it, and she did it well.

There are times when I am bitter about the hurdles I have to overcome as a single mom. I get angry about circumstances and, admittedly, sometimes wish I were the kind of person who could throw in the towel. My grandmother has been my constant, the person I focus on in rough times. She is a tough lady from a tough line of women, and raised a daughter who became a tough mother. This only means that I come from a tough lineage, and it is in my blood. My grandmother has become my inspiration to keep going even when I think that I couldn’t possibly make it any further. Not only that, she is a great listener in those times when I just need to vent. It helps to swap stories with someone who’s been there and understands.

P.S. The picture above is a photo of my grandmother and almost all of her grandchildren and great-grandkids.

Do you have a mom in your life that has inspired you? How about a group of moms that have helped you to keep going when motherhood seems like the hardest thing in the world?