It has been a long running fantasy of mine that Jo Frost from “Supernanny” fame comes to my house to make things better and more efficient for my family. In this fantasy, Jo attempts to guide my kids into submission through games that teach cleaning and encouraging them to pick up the slack since they live in a one parent house and their poor mom can’t do it all. After repeated attempts at teaching my son that cleaning does not involve stuffing everything underneath his bed, tripping over several skateboards that seem to travel around the house without help, and trying to pry my daughter off of the computer, Jo gives up, pours the two of us a martini, and we take turns belittling the pathetic excuse of child support I receive while consuming as many calories we can in an all out carb fest. And the kids? We lock them outside and Jo hires me a permanent maid.
When the Taz was younger, that kid was insane. No, really. He would bounce off the walls for no good reason at all, running around the house and yelling like breathing was too difficult without doing it at headache-inducing decibels. I would find handprints all over the walls (who am I fooling, I still do) at heights that he couldn’t even reach on his tip-toes, leading me to believe that he was actually pulling the chair up and then marking his territory through greasy fingerprints and remnants of peanut butter. Speaking of marking territory….I’m not entirely convinced that teaching a boy that their equipment actually works outside, not just in the toilet. After one emergency pit stop at my daughter’s soccer game, I’m pretty sure that he began stockpiling on juice during his toddler years, avoiding the bathroom until we actually left the house, allowing him to mark every single plant, bush, and tree we passed by. My parents couches have seen the brunt of the Taz’s creativity when he decided to color with permanent marker on paper….and the ink leaked. And, of course, the numerous parent-teacher conferences that resulted in me doing a lot of listening, and the teacher doing a lot of sighing.
And still, watching the kids on the Supernanny always made me feel so much better about my kids.
Unfortunately, I will never know the reality of my fantasy of having Jo over for martinis. It appears that after 6 years of helping other families with their issues, Jo is retiring, looking forward to having children of her own (and obviously this decision of hers is the only thing holding me back from enjoying a gossip session with the Supernanny). And watching her deal with kids who were as awful as the kids she dealt with makes me question…
Jo wants kids of her own?
After 6 years of dealing with identical multiples that run the house, bullying children who hit their mothers, kids who break every item in the house, mothers who actually lock their kids outside (for real), mothers who are severely depressed, fathers who have no clue about being involved in areas of discipline, fathers who take discipline a little too seriously, houses that should be condemned for the amount of damage bratty children have put them through…. Even after all this, she still wants kids?
Truth is, I have always loved Jo. She has some of the most sensible advice, especially for someone who doesn’t have children of her own. She teaches firmly, yet gently, and gives parents tools that (if they stick with them) will really work in the long run. I wish her the best in this new adventure of hers, and already know she will make a wonderful mother.
What’s your favorite Supernanny episode? And if you could hire Supernanny for a few weeks to turn things around in your house, what would you want help in fixing?
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