Boys and their dolls

Is it an action figure? Or is it just a glorified doll?

The other night I got together with a few of my girlfriends. I brought the kids with me, and for the most part they stayed in the other room and played with my friend’s 5 year old daughter, Lil K. Lil K is every bit the girly girl, and probably has more dolls than I and my daughter, DQ, have ever had combined. My son, Taz, brought over his new action figure, the newly retired John Cena from WWE (his hero), and I chose that moment to tease the holy heck out of him.

“Hey Lil K, go ask Taz if he wants to play with his doll with you,” I told her. And the Taz glared at me.

“It’s not a doll, it’s an ACTION FIGURE.”

Of course, the damage was already done. Lil K chased him around the house with her beautiful Ariel doll with flowing red hair, wanting to see if John Cena would like to play house. And the Taz spent most of the evening hiding in the closet or the bathroom to avoid having his doll, er, I mean, action figure, corrupted by the girly toy.

Apparently, the obsession with action figures doesn’t end with childhood. One of the girls described the argument she and her husband had shared earlier that same day. She had been cleaning his display case of action figures, and decided that the sword in Voltar’s (or whoever’s) hand was too big to fit in the case since it was hitting the glass. So she removed the sword. And by the ranting that her husband put forth after his discovery of the missing weapon, you’d have thought she had actually broken Voltar’s hand clean off.

“If you had told me that marriage included arguments about action figures, I never would have believed you,” she told us as we rolled on the floor laughing.

This morning, the Taz came downstairs and greeted his sister by sticking John Cena in DQ’s face.

“Get your doll out of my face,” she said, pushing his hand aside.

“ACTION figure,” he loudly corrected her. DQ settled the argument by marching herself over to the dictionary on the shelf.

Definition of a doll: a child’s toy in the shape of a person

Definition of an action figure: a small usually plastic doll (hmm…) with movable legs and arms, often based on a character from an action adventure

Her conclusion?

Action figure and doll = same thing.

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4 thoughts on “Boys and their dolls”

  1. That’s hilarious!
    Just think if John Cena knew his Action figure really was a doll!
    He’d be the laughing stock of The WWE. or not.

  2. You guys are terrible. Poor Taz! Take it from a guy who, until he switched to statues, had over 300 packaged mint condition ACTION FIGURES, from X-Men to Batman, some of which fetched a handsome price on the collectors market, the distinction is a very important one. Vintage Barbie still goes for pretty high dollars, too. Although I must research this further, my suspicion is that it was likely a matter of marketing many years ago, when toy companies like Mattel and Hasbro needed to market to boys and wanted to make sure the taglines for toys didn’t drive consumers away. No boy would go for a “Superman Doll!” but they would go for a “Superman Action Figure!” It’s the same reason Disney’s latest is called “Tangled” instead of “Rapunzel.” Also, I’m sure John Cena knows there’s an action figure of him. As an individual “entertainer,” they have to have his permission to use his likeness. Could be contracted differently as a whole of WWE, however. He probably has the whole line hanging on his wall at home. Oh, and tell DQ it’s not wise to simply deny Webster’s definitions 😉

  3. Very cute article. I also love an article in the PD yesterday (12/03/10), but can’t find it now. Can any one help? It was written by a mother whose son started telling her how much he loved her after being inspired by one of his teachers. The end of the article finds her daughter responding to this phenomenon with a priceless comment. It was on the Find It! page. Really wanted to keep it, but I think we put the paper into recycling already. Anyone know what it was called?

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