Tag Archives: Dieting

Bridge over troubled water weight

Here comes the bride
17 pounds ago

Roughly 9 months ago, I was wearing a white wedding dress, and was the smallest size I had ever been in my adult life. I had worked hard to get there, eating healthy foods with no cheating whatsoever, and exercising daily. I was motivated to look my best on my wedding day. Once I set my mind to it, my willpower became unbreakable. I was so successful, in fact, that my wedding dress was a little too big on my wedding day.

I had spent so many months being “good”, that when the honeymoon came, I allowed myself a week of indulgences. “I’m married now,” I joked to my husband. “I can now be fat and happy.” I enjoyed high calorie alcoholic beverages, lots of rice and beans (we were in Costa Rica, after all), BREAD, desserts…pretty much anything I wanted. I figured I was allowed to enjoy myself, that I had earned this after so many months of discipline, and that once I got back home I could get back on the wagon.

17 pounds later...and NOT pregnant
17 pounds later…barefoot and NOT pregnant

I gained 7 pounds on that honeymoon, weight I figured could be chalked up to food weight and lost easily. But I never did lose it. In fact, I ended up gaining 10 more pounds. And here I am, stuck at 17 pounds heavier and NOTHING I do can make it drop lower than that.

I’ve been eating healthy, watching everything I eat and packing my lunch daily. I am exercising, though I just can’t get myself to work out with the intensity I had before. Perhaps it’s because I just don’t have that one thing that motivates me. There’s no wedding dress to fit into, no hundred or so people to stand in front of, no photos to look my best for.

And yet, I am in a slump because I am keeping myself from eating foods just like everyone else, and I might as well be eating cupcakes and hamburgers and ice cream because the scale is not moving and my stomach is starting to look like there’s a bun in the oven.

I’ve done it before. I’ve done it several times before. So why is it so hard to lose weight now? Is 35 that age when the weight comes on….and just stays there?

P.S. Speaking of NOT being pregnant, somehow my name got on a baby mailing list. It might be because I got married last year, who knows. But I have been getting free samples of formula, free diapers, ads for baby life insurance, etc. It’s quite humorous to see my almost 50 year old husband have a near heart attack whenever these mailers arrive at the house. Perhaps it will encourage a little snip-snip, if you know what I mean… Until then, I like to tease him that we can always have another baby so he can watch his kid graduate high school when he’s 70. He’s getting closer to making that call. 😉

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Battling the baby bulge (excerpt)

I’m getting close to finishing my first round of edits on my WineCountryMom eBook.  It’s been kind of cool to read through those old entries and see where we’ve traveled from – all the things I struggled through and overcame, and how much the kids have grown since then.  It’s also pretty eye-opening to see the things I struggled with then – and still struggle with now.

Weight issues being one of them.

Granted, I’m not fat.  I’d like to get a little slimmer and a bit more firm, of course.  But we’re only talking 15 pounds, not 150 pounds.  However, I think weight will always be my issue, whether I’m big or small.

The one thing I’ve discovered differently over the years, though, is how important it is to love yourself no matter what size you are.  Our bodies are just our shells.  Whether we’re fat or thin, who we are on the inside doesn’t change.  You can lose all that weight on the outside, and still be that fat girl on the inside.  If you can’t love yourself with a few extra pounds, you won’t magically love yourself when they’re gone.

I’m working on my next article for the newspaper, and think I’ll touch on this. But for now, here’s an excerpted peek into retro WineCountryMom, and one of the chapters of the upcoming blog eBook.


babybulgeI’ve been fighting the baby bulge. No, not the kind that you have when you are newly pregnant and possess a cute little bump that later turns into an adorable basketball on your tiny frame (uh, yeah, unless you’re me and even your ankles get a baby bump). I’m talking about the baby bulge you battle once the baby is already out. To be fair, I did just have a baby (eight years ago), so I can’t claim a Heidi Klum body anymore (stop laughing). But for the past year I have been trying different diets and exercises to lose the weight once and for all. And in one year I have lost (drumroll please)…..

Ten pounds.

Yes, that’s right. Only ten pounds. And do you know why? Because of yo-yo dieting. It’s getting ridiculous. I have pretty much lost and gained the same ten pounds more times that I can keep track of…

End of excerpt. Read the rest in the eBook “Golf Balls, Eight Year Olds & Dual Paned Windows“.


Oh, fat baby.

How did I do it before – the effortless way I lost weight before the wedding, when I actually said out loud that I needed to figure out how to stop the weight loss so that my dress didn’t fall off?

How arrogant of me.

The official tally of weight gained since the day I left for the honeymoon is in. Are you ready for this? 7 pounds. That’s the weight of a newborn. You guys, in less than a month I have gained a child in my thighs and belly. And it’s not a cute widdle baby.

It might be the fact that I am doing more writing than ever this month – not just the novel, but the articles I signed up for this month that have me facing heavy deadlines every week on articles that require more time than I have (which is  a burden, admittedly, I totally love).  It might be the fact that I am getting hardly any sleep, my body clock thinking 3:30am is a perfect time to wake up when I really don’t need to be up until 5am.  It’s probably the fact that my stomach stretched out from a week of overeating, causing me to sit at my desk with a need to put food in my face at all times.

7 pounds.  One month.  Sigh. At this rate I’ll have twins by the New Year.

Thank god it’s bundle up sweater season.

What’s in 400 calories?

This morning I packed myself a good, healthy lunch.  I made my usual two-egg breakfast, each wrapped in a corn tortilla.  I put some cherries in a container.  And for lunch I had the meat off of two chicken thighs and 1/4 of a potato.  I ate each container of food at their regularly scheduled time, because the only way to keep from eating them all up at once is to be anal about when I am supposed to eat them.  And by 1 pm, all of the food was gone.

And at 2pm, Pop Tarts were calling my name.

I don’t even like Pop Tarts.  They’re 400 empty calories of garbage that do nothing but make me feel guilty while eating them and gross when the deed is done.  They don’t taste as good as they should, making them a huge disappointment when I realize I just wasted all those calories on something that isn’t worth it.  I mean, a Sift cupcake runs around 400 calories.  So does two pieces of sourdough toast with a smidgen of butter on each one.  A huge bowl of ice cream, 1/2 of a California Kitchen Pizza, 4 bananas, almost 3 sodas, a Venti Frappuccino with a piece of chocolate on the side, an 8 oz sirloin steak….all worth 400 calories or less each.  So a yucky untoasted strawberry Pop Tart that has been sitting in the vending machine for God knows how long?  Hardly worth it.

And yet, its siren call was clinging to me and reeling me in.

So I fought hard against the craving.  I was determined not to let it seduce me into its trap.  I filled my water bottle and drank a sip every time I wanted to make the trek up those stairs towards those dry little pastries.  I put a cinnamon Altoid in my mouth to help me forget about the taste.  I averted my thoughts by diving headfirst into work.  And then I grabbed my wallet with $1.25 in change and headed upstairs to buy the damn Pop Tarts and be done with it.

The first bite hit my taste buds and slid down my throat, allowing me to finally exhale the breath I’d been holding all this time.  The Pop Tart fix flowed through my veins as I took bite after bite to appease my craving.  Slowly, my belly expanded over my legs, my thighs suddenly drooping over the sides of the chair like playdough being squished into too small of a container.  My belt strained against the sudden implosion of belly fat that grabbed on to the sneak carb attack of the cardboard-esque snack.  And each bite suddenly seemed less satisfying than the last.  By the time I finished the first one, I knew I shouldn’t eat the second.  I already felt so huge, so gross, so sleepy and lethargic from eating all that white flour.  So I did the only thing I could do.

I devoured the second one.

By the time I was waddling back down the stairs, I was inwardly beating myself up for breaking so easily.  I had lectured myself that very morning to get through today eating only what I had packed, and to leave the snacks in the vending machine and the chocolate in my co-workers desk alone.  And by just giving myself such an order, I rebelled just to show myself I couldn’t be told what to do.

Great job Crissi, you’re a rebel.  You’ve also just gained back the few pounds you worked so hard to lose.

At any rate, tomorrow’s a new day with a new plan.  Pack a healthy lunch, drink lots of water, and when that carving hits hardcore, head outside for some fresh air and a walk around the office building.

Let’s do this thing.

Weight a little bit

For the past year I’ve been eating Paleo – specifically no grains or dairy about 80% of the time.  And it’s done wonders in getting rid of my “wheat belly” and in making me feel a lot more energized and healthy.  But it has done nothing to help me lose weight.

With the wedding getting close, I knew I needed to step things up a bit.  So I did the only thing that has ever worked in losing weight – tracking my calories.  I use the Daily Plate function at Livestrong.com, recording everything I’m eating and all exercise I’ve performed to keep my calories at a certain level.  At first, there was no weight loss.  In fact, there was a little weight gain.  And it took a bit to master the fine art of not eating over my calorie limit.  But eventually, I was seeing the numbers dip lower every day as eating within my limits became effortless.

Two days ago, I reached the halfway point.  Being that I only have 10 pounds to lose before I’m satisfied, it’s not like this is a huge accomplishment.  But for anyone who has ever tried to lose weight, you know how hard it is to lose just 5 pounds.  It can take weeks, if not longer.  So seeing that number on the scale that I haven’t seen for months felt like I had managed something huge.  My stomach was looking flatter, I felt leaner, it was an amazing day.

Of course, while taking weight off takes a really long time, putting it back on can happen in the matter of a weekend.

I only saw that low number one morning.  The next morning I was 1.5 pounds up.  Today, I’m 2 pounds up.  I’ve exercised the past two days, I’ve recorded everything I ate and stayed below my calorie limits.  I feel like the food I’ve been eatuing has been pretty smart choices.  And yet, the scale is laughing its evil laugh and adding numbers to my weight.

I’m so frustrated.

It’s possible I might just be bloated.  Or I might have recorded something I ate wrong.  Whatever the issue, I will be taking a long hard look at what I’m eating and try and get that number back down.

Regardless of this setback, I know I can do it.  I have 3 months till my final dress fitting for the wedding when I need to be finished with my goal, and that’s definitely doable.   I’m now up to running 3 miles (at a slow pace, but running nonetheless) every other day, something I’m really proud of.  And I like the way my body is changing.  This goal will come too.

A little bit at a time, right?

Greek yogurt and arguing with my brain

I have taken to eating plain Greek yogurt. Not raspberry yogurt. Not even yogurt with a little honey in it. Definitely no granola or even sweetener. Just plain, boring, drab Greek yogurt. Why am I torturing myself like this? Well, bikini season is right around the corner, I bought a really cute one this year, and dang it, I’m going to wear it!

Truth is, the plain yogurt isn’t that bad. The first day I was like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I folded and added a small tiny drop (read: 4 whopping Tablespoons) of honey to my 90 calorie yogurt. But after that, I forced myself to just eat it plain. I’m on day 3 of project plain yogurt, and I’m starting to get used to it.

Of course, plain yogurt isn’t my only line of defense against the fat cells that are lining up, ready to jump on my thighs as soon as I even glance at a pat of butter. I am eating 5 small meals a day, all roughly the same amount of small calories. I am ensuring that my last meal is by 6pm at night and fairly light. And I am drinking water. Lots of water. I’m pretty certain that I am starting to grow gills, I’m drinking so much water. And now I am adding in the dreaded E word. That’s right, Eggnog. Wait, that’s not it. I’m EXERCISING.

I hate exercising. I can eat healthy to my heart’s content (except for when ice cream’s around, or when I succumb to this fabulous cupcake phenomenon that’s going on). But exercise? My body and brain start arguing with each other, and it goes something like this:

Brain: Hey, look! Sunshine! Let’s go outside and run a couple laps!

Body: Are you flipping joking? I’m enjoying this nice comfy couch right now.

Brain: I don’t think your butt can get any wider. Let’s get a move on before it molds itself to the couch.

Body: No. I might sweat. Or get one of those side cramp thingies.

Brain: We can go slowly at first. But if you want to tone those thighs, you need to start walking, running, ANYTHING besides just sitting there on your couch.

Body: Look, I’m wiggling my toes. I’m fairly certain that the muscles in my toes are moving the muscles in my feet, which are in turn stretching the muscles in my legs that are toning the muscles in my thighs. So you see? I can totally tone up AND sit on this couch.

Brain: You have a good point there. Anything good on TV?

Unfortunately, my body is pretty convincing, and my brain is kind of a pushover. But I have managed to convince myself that diet alone is not going to cut it. Just months ago I was on the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred kick. And I have to say, before I totally threw out my shoulder with the dumbbell lunges, it was definitely working – and quickly! I couldn’t move my upper body after 2 weeks, and kept reinjuring my shoulder whenever I resumed the exercises. But my abs and arms were tight! Unfortunately, I also like to be able to walk without hunching over. So Jillian Michaels and her cronies with the scary looking 14 pack abs have gone to the back of the DVD pile, ready to play again when I have forgotten the torture she inflicted on me. In the meantime, I have settled on some simple ab crunchies while I am reading in bed, and making sure to stretch and do lunges at least once a day. Eventually, I will venture out of my cave and get to walking…maybe even being brave enough to attempt a light jog (don’t hold your breath on that one).  And of course, I’ll continue eating my scrumptious plain Greek yogurt.

What is your fitness and diet routine for keeping healthy?