I have taken to eating plain Greek yogurt. Not raspberry yogurt. Not even yogurt with a little honey in it. Definitely no granola or even sweetener. Just plain, boring, drab Greek yogurt. Why am I torturing myself like this? Well, bikini season is right around the corner, I bought a really cute one this year, and dang it, I’m going to wear it!
Truth is, the plain yogurt isn’t that bad. The first day I was like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I folded and added a small tiny drop (read: 4 whopping Tablespoons) of honey to my 90 calorie yogurt. But after that, I forced myself to just eat it plain. I’m on day 3 of project plain yogurt, and I’m starting to get used to it.
Of course, plain yogurt isn’t my only line of defense against the fat cells that are lining up, ready to jump on my thighs as soon as I even glance at a pat of butter. I am eating 5 small meals a day, all roughly the same amount of small calories. I am ensuring that my last meal is by 6pm at night and fairly light. And I am drinking water. Lots of water. I’m pretty certain that I am starting to grow gills, I’m drinking so much water. And now I am adding in the dreaded E word. That’s right, Eggnog. Wait, that’s not it. I’m EXERCISING.
I hate exercising. I can eat healthy to my heart’s content (except for when ice cream’s around, or when I succumb to this fabulous cupcake phenomenon that’s going on). But exercise? My body and brain start arguing with each other, and it goes something like this:
Brain: Hey, look! Sunshine! Let’s go outside and run a couple laps!
Body: Are you flipping joking? I’m enjoying this nice comfy couch right now.
Brain: I don’t think your butt can get any wider. Let’s get a move on before it molds itself to the couch.
Body: No. I might sweat. Or get one of those side cramp thingies.
Brain: We can go slowly at first. But if you want to tone those thighs, you need to start walking, running, ANYTHING besides just sitting there on your couch.
Body: Look, I’m wiggling my toes. I’m fairly certain that the muscles in my toes are moving the muscles in my feet, which are in turn stretching the muscles in my legs that are toning the muscles in my thighs. So you see? I can totally tone up AND sit on this couch.
Brain: You have a good point there. Anything good on TV?
Unfortunately, my body is pretty convincing, and my brain is kind of a pushover. But I have managed to convince myself that diet alone is not going to cut it. Just months ago I was on the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred kick. And I have to say, before I totally threw out my shoulder with the dumbbell lunges, it was definitely working – and quickly! I couldn’t move my upper body after 2 weeks, and kept reinjuring my shoulder whenever I resumed the exercises. But my abs and arms were tight! Unfortunately, I also like to be able to walk without hunching over. So Jillian Michaels and her cronies with the scary looking 14 pack abs have gone to the back of the DVD pile, ready to play again when I have forgotten the torture she inflicted on me. In the meantime, I have settled on some simple ab crunchies while I am reading in bed, and making sure to stretch and do lunges at least once a day. Eventually, I will venture out of my cave and get to walking…maybe even being brave enough to attempt a light jog (don’t hold your breath on that one). And of course, I’ll continue eating my scrumptious plain Greek yogurt.
What is your fitness and diet routine for keeping healthy?