I need to confess something. Sometimes I am afraid to read my comments on this blog. Sometimes when my phone pings and alerts me to another email, I’m afraid to look. Sometimes when I write a new entry in this blog, I pray that it won’t inspire conversation. It’s not that I don’t love feedback. I do. I want each and every one of you to tell me how much you can empathize with what I’m going through, how you were just experiencing such and such in your own household. I want you to tell me that what I wrote made you laugh outloud, or shed a tear, or how you can’t wait for my next installation.
So what is it that has me shaking in my pumps every time I write something new and put it out there for the world to see? It’s those people that use my comment space to tell me how much I am screwing up my kids. Or it’s those people that email me personally to tell me that I am way off base. It’s those that tell me that my holiday stuffing is too fattening, and admonish me for even serving that to my kids. It’s the insinuations that I am a bad mother. It’s the things that are written to me or about me that I can assure you would never be said if we were face to face. And it’s the most recent email I received from someone who told me they were sad for my children. Why were they sad?
Because I was writing about my kids for the world to see.
Let’s forget to mention that I am a MOM BLOGGER. Let’s also skip the fact that, because I’m a mom, 90% of the events worth writing about involve my kids. And we’ll also ignore the fact that I do not use my children’s real names in this blog, allowing them to still have some sense of anonymity. We’ll just set those three very important factors to the side and move on.
I have been writing about my kids pretty much all their lives. Of course, the several blogs I have occupied were much less widely seen, and were much more anonymous. So when the Press Democrat came to me and offered me a blogging position followed by the role of Santa Rosa Mom moderator, I accepted enthusiastically. But I talked to my kids immediately after accepting about the new role I would be playing. After all, I write about them and now people they knew and didn’t know would be reading it. Both of them gave the ok, and were excited for this new development.
I can’t tell you how thrilled the Taz is when he sees another story about him printed in the newspaper when they occasionally run my blogs as articles. Because he lives his life outloud and loves the attention, I can safely write about him to my heart’s content – the good and the bad. He reads much of what I write, and gets a kick out of it. With my tween daughter, however, I am a lot more careful. While she has given her consent for me to write about her, I am very conscientious about the precarious age she is at. Being that even the smallest thing can embarrass a 12 year old, I write about her a lot less. And when I do, I run it by her before I even push “publish”.
I suppose I can write a blog and not include personal stories from my home. I can keep things general, using fake names and situations to get a point across. Or I could just stop talking about my kids altogether and just talk about me. Boy, that would be interesting… Seriously, how would other moms be able to relate if I didn’t talk about my kids? I use my blog to reach those moms who might think that they are the only ones going through issues with their children, or who might see themselves as less than perfect parents. As a less than perfect parent myself, I put myself out there so that other moms can empathize. Or I work out issues we are having in case another parent has a better answer than what I am coming up with. I don’t see how I can do that without including my kids.
At any rate, I have a favor to ask of you. Please leave a comment. Or email me something positive every now and then. I know that there are times when I’m screwing up, or the issues I am experiencing with my kids could be dealt with so much better, or I am fattening up my kids with something horrendous that I made myself. We all worry that our parenting skills are less than stellar, and that other moms out there are doing it so much better. And I am no different at all, especially since it’s on display and open for discussion. But I’m sure there are at least a couple of you that might have something nice to say. And I’d love to hear it. Yes, this is a shameless plug for attention. But it is always nice to know that someone is reading this blog and doesn’t think I am completely off my rocker. Even if you just give a simple “hello”, it will surely get me over that fear of hearing my phone ping, alerting me that I have something pleasant in the form of feedback.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Welcome to the world of blogging. I don’t care who you are or what you’re blogging about, the very nature of the internet means that you’re going to encounter folks who will find some way to be absolutely horrified at the most benign statement. I’m a Santa Rosa dad, my wife and I have a year-old daughter so I’m kind of new to the “parent” thing and I read your blog regularly. It’s well written, thoughtful, and often funny. If you didn’t give us a peek at what was going on in your kids lives I wouldn’t keep reading. I’m not hear to read your opinion on how to be a great parent, I’m here to read about the ACTUAL issues and challenges you’re facing and then draw my own conclusions. I think you’ve struck an excellent balance between making the reader feel like we know your kids and keeping them safely anonymous. Keep up the great work!
Will the perfect mom please step forward? Love your blog. It’s real life.
We love your blog and we’re proud of you.
Dear Blogger Mom,
The world is full of antagonists and the uninspired. I find nothing more depressing then reading the dialogue of those people that hide behind anonymity to cause others pain, they do it for their own pleasure, or because they are insecure, afraid, and trapped by their own anger, like children who torment animals. There will always be people offended, brush them off like the petty tyrants they are, the world is a better place with blogger moms in it.
Jeremy, father of one.
PS. If they turned commenting off period they would be doing us all a favor.
First off, I know for a fact that you feed your kids pretty healthy stuff on a normal day. Holiday meals have license to be fattening, so who cares if your stuffing uses a pound of butter? Second, I dont think that writing about your kids is screwing them up, or ruining their lives. They are both normal, well adjusted kids. At least you dont have camera crews following them around 24-7, as some parents do….. Lastly, I agree with the people who have already mentioned this: people suck. They will write mean, horrible things because they feel powerful when they do. Have you ever noticed that most of the really mean comments are signed by “anonymous”? Not a coincidence. The best part about being moderator is that you have the power to delete these comments. Dont think of it as censoring, think of it as removing graffiti that the rest of us dont care to see, either.
Don’t let them get to you, Crissi. That’s the nature of putting yourself and your ideas out there for the world to peruse. You get the detractors as well. It’s par for the course. You’re doing a great job with your life and your children and doing a courageous thing otherwise to write about them and yourself and the way you educate each other and present said experiences for total strangers to read and learn from and, unfortunately, develop unfounded and off-base opinions toward. You let them have their say, for as Mark Twain once wrote; “If one think’s one’s self to be a fool, tis better to remain silent, than speak and remove all doubt.” Keep writing. It’s a necessary thing, your blog and your view. Like another commenter said above; it’s real life.
Don’t you dare hang up your mommy blog. Parenting is always a fine line between good and bad. Remember people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. No parent should “knock” you for trying to be a better parent whether you write about it publicly or simply talk to other friends and family members about the challenges we ALL face day to day. Keep doing what you are doing,
The more I experience the internet, the more I find it to be full of idiots and trolls. I mean, on CuteOverload, every other picture has people hating on it because ‘that could hurt your cat! Cats are fragile! You hate animals!’ So don’t sweat the trolls, sweetie. We know you’re awesome.
I have to say, you guys are all so wonderful! Thank you for indulging me in my pity party. I know that there will always be “trolls” out there, looking to rain on others’ parades. And I know that there will also be differences in opinions about parenting ideas, and that’s not such a bad thing. But these comments were a huge pick-me-up. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!