I need to confess something. Sometimes I am afraid to read my comments on this blog. Sometimes when my phone pings and alerts me to another email, I’m afraid to look. Sometimes when I write a new entry in this blog, I pray that it won’t inspire conversation. It’s not that I don’t love feedback. I do. I want each and every one of you to tell me how much you can empathize with what I’m going through, how you were just experiencing such and such in your own household. I want you to tell me that what I wrote made you laugh outloud, or shed a tear, or how you can’t wait for my next installation.
So what is it that has me shaking in my pumps every time I write something new and put it out there for the world to see? It’s those people that use my comment space to tell me how much I am screwing up my kids. Or it’s those people that email me personally to tell me that I am way off base. It’s those that tell me that my holiday stuffing is too fattening, and admonish me for even serving that to my kids. It’s the insinuations that I am a bad mother. It’s the things that are written to me or about me that I can assure you would never be said if we were face to face. And it’s the most recent email I received from someone who told me they were sad for my children. Why were they sad?
Because I was writing about my kids for the world to see.
Let’s forget to mention that I am a MOM BLOGGER. Let’s also skip the fact that, because I’m a mom, 90% of the events worth writing about involve my kids. And we’ll also ignore the fact that I do not use my children’s real names in this blog, allowing them to still have some sense of anonymity. We’ll just set those three very important factors to the side and move on.
I have been writing about my kids pretty much all their lives. Of course, the several blogs I have occupied were much less widely seen, and were much more anonymous. So when the Press Democrat came to me and offered me a blogging position followed by the role of Santa Rosa Mom moderator, I accepted enthusiastically. But I talked to my kids immediately after accepting about the new role I would be playing. After all, I write about them and now people they knew and didn’t know would be reading it. Both of them gave the ok, and were excited for this new development.
I can’t tell you how thrilled the Taz is when he sees another story about him printed in the newspaper when they occasionally run my blogs as articles. Because he lives his life outloud and loves the attention, I can safely write about him to my heart’s content – the good and the bad. He reads much of what I write, and gets a kick out of it. With my tween daughter, however, I am a lot more careful. While she has given her consent for me to write about her, I am very conscientious about the precarious age she is at. Being that even the smallest thing can embarrass a 12 year old, I write about her a lot less. And when I do, I run it by her before I even push “publish”.
I suppose I can write a blog and not include personal stories from my home. I can keep things general, using fake names and situations to get a point across. Or I could just stop talking about my kids altogether and just talk about me. Boy, that would be interesting… Seriously, how would other moms be able to relate if I didn’t talk about my kids? I use my blog to reach those moms who might think that they are the only ones going through issues with their children, or who might see themselves as less than perfect parents. As a less than perfect parent myself, I put myself out there so that other moms can empathize. Or I work out issues we are having in case another parent has a better answer than what I am coming up with. I don’t see how I can do that without including my kids.
At any rate, I have a favor to ask of you. Please leave a comment. Or email me something positive every now and then. I know that there are times when I’m screwing up, or the issues I am experiencing with my kids could be dealt with so much better, or I am fattening up my kids with something horrendous that I made myself. We all worry that our parenting skills are less than stellar, and that other moms out there are doing it so much better. And I am no different at all, especially since it’s on display and open for discussion. But I’m sure there are at least a couple of you that might have something nice to say. And I’d love to hear it. Yes, this is a shameless plug for attention. But it is always nice to know that someone is reading this blog and doesn’t think I am completely off my rocker. Even if you just give a simple “hello”, it will surely get me over that fear of hearing my phone ping, alerting me that I have something pleasant in the form of feedback.
I look forward to hearing from you!