Banning Epidurals

According to a Utah Lawmaker, relieving labor pain is a luxury the state can't afford.

If you are pregnant, or have ever been pregnant, chances are you are pretty familiar with what an epidural is. This is the drug that has frantic laboring women seeing God for the first time as the pain subsides to something more bearable. And it is the exact thing that Utah Senator Dan Liljenquist is proposing to be taken away from women on Medicaid to save the state some money. “Do we save some kid or make birth easier?” he asked.

Uh…what?

Hold on, the Senator has an argument. According to him, thousands of college students are flocking to Utah to give birth, costing the state’s Medicaid thousands of dollars. Medicaid paid for 15,000 births this past year, a third of the state’s total. “These are 90 percent out-of-state students having babies on our dime,” Sen. Howard Stephenson added to the argument. College students qualify because they have no income. And yet, according to the Senator and “anecdotal evidence”, these students who are popping out kids right and left are driving fancy cars like Lexus and BMW and are set up on a trust fund.

Obviously the answer is to take away elective epidurals from everyone who is on Medicaid.

Oh, I think that the Senator might just be on to something. But first, I think he needs to do a little experiment. You know, just to see what the outcome will be like. I’m thinking that he should develop a Kidney Stone, something small like the size of a peach. And then he should pass it through the only place a Kidney Stone would pass through. No pain medication. No surgery. Just grin and bear it in the name of saving the state money. As soon as he does that, I think I might listen a little more closely to his argument.

Actually, no. I wouldn’t. But I still think he should try the peach thing.

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8 thoughts on “Banning Epidurals”

  1. This is why I live in CA and not UT any longer. I’m not sure a peach would suffice, how about a pumpkin!

  2. How about we make him witness those epidural-free child births personally. Might change his mind real quick. Because if he’s taking away the drugs, I’m guessing doula’s, midwives, water births, and all the other things that make a drug-free birth tolerable would be out, too. Man, this just ruined my morning.

  3. I’m so sick of men trying to regulate issues that effect women. I think that more money would be saved if neither Viagra nor Prostate Cancer were covered.

  4. OMGoodness — seconded. Until he gives birth naturally, he has no business saying what is ‘necessary’ for childbirth. I know that women gave birth without pain management for ages..but they also gave birth without sterile environments, prenatal care or access to a doctor, and commonly died in childbirth.

  5. My sweet wife tried so hard to go without… By the time she relented and got the epi I’m not sure who was more relieved, me or her. Thank god for modern medicine!

  6. Everyone wants others to pay their way. The issue is not epidural anesthesia, it is ethics and cost. Why should Utah pay for out-of-state resident birthing? Part of the culture of entitlement?

    Birth Control, Birth Control, Birth Control. Responsible citizens pay their own way and don’t expect others to.

    Is the pain feedback important in labor? Perhaps pain can modify labor and blocking that pain can have effects on the unborn?

  7. It reminds me of the movie “Little Nicky” which features Satan as one of the characters. Poor Satan is constantly having to leave meetings and other events because it’s “time to shove another pineapple up Hilter’s a**hole.” This would be a much better way for Senator Liljquist to experience the pain first-hand. Oh, and BTW, ED, I don’t know what medical school you think you went to, but you have got to be the most ignorant moron I have heard from today. You probably don’t have a wife, but if you do I suggest you repeat your idotic comment to her face. And, then you’d better duck.

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