Being sexy, raising kids

Keeping the romance alive in your marriage is difficult when you’re raising children.  At times, it can be an almost romance killer.  This only makes it that much more important when you become a parent to continue working at romance to keep the love alive and steamy hot….even when it feels like you have to go to extraordinary lengths to get there.

How do YOU keep the romance alive when little ones are underfoot?

Peg Melnik and Leslie Kaplan, authors of Make Love Whenever Possible When Married With Children, are advocates of keeping romance a huge part of marriage while raising children.  Their book is dedicated to little ways you can seduce your spouse, and feel sexy while doing it.  Today I am turning my blog over to them with a story shared about a recent escape from parenthood to a day of pure romance.

The Make Love Mindset

by Peg Melnik & Leslie Kaplan

We are drinking Bloody Marys at high noon and my husband is romancing me with music.

Clearly this is not your typical Thursday. We are in Pismo Beach celebrating our anniversary and we’re listening to “I Can See Clearly Now” with Johnny Nash reaching for the high notes.

Stealing away like this was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I had to make seven calls to set up kid coverage, another two to get a dog sitter, and three emails just to make sure my garden wouldn’t turn into potpourri while we’re gone.

Getting away takes stamina, persistence, an indomitable spirit.

It feels cruel to leave babies because the umbilical cord is never truly cut until they’re five-plus. And yet, babies do survive at home even when we aren’t the primary caregiver 24/7.

One tip: An antidote for guilt is a stiff drink.

Soon I am feeling at ease, relaxed, decidedly off duty.

We listen to “Every Step You Take” by the Police and it takes me back to the time that I first realized I was in love with this man. I was driving home after spending the night with him and I had a frank talk with myself. “He’s the guy. He’s the one.” Amazing. Time travel is possible if you have the right music.

I decide I never want to have my husband stop romancing me with music – even when we go back to the loud house. What to do?
Maybe we could listen to music when we sit outside every night for a glass of wine.

It’s true. We can’t drink Bloody Marys at high noon every day, but there is hope in that crazy-making house. We still can try to romance each other with music on vacation-less days.

To learn tips and read inspirational stories on keeping the romance alive in a marriage with kids, visit Peg and Leslie’s website at


4 thoughts on “Being sexy, raising kids

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  1. “Every Breath You Take” is a song about a mentally unbalanced obsessive stalker. Funny how that happens with music, like the ultimate 70′ gay anthem “YMCA” has become a song for All-American sports events.

  2. >>>>One tip: An antidote for guilt is a stiff drink.<<<<<

    I find this so offensive. For those of us whose marriages have been destroyed by an alcoholic spouse, a "stiff drink" is poison, NOT an "antidote."

    What an assinine comment on the part of the authors.

  3. Thanks for posting this! I know it’s something I definitely work hard on in my marriage. Heck, we even trained the kiddo to call herself “blocker” because we thought it was funny. And while we don’t have a drink at noon every day, some days we certainly consider it 🙂

  4. Thank you for your response.We really like to hear from readers. But just a clarification: We are certainly not encouraging people to have a stiff drink if they have a drinking problem. We also know that not everyone drinks. So here are some tips for how to relax and connect with your partner for non-drinkers: take a walk on the beach; give your partner a back massage, have a late night, two-hour dinner.

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